13 Signs You Are Neck-deep In The Indian Christian Sub-culture

Subculture : A group of people within a culture that differentiates itself from the larger culture to which it belongs. (Wikipedia)

India has so many subcultures; groups that have their unique characteristics and sometimes curious traditions. I could be identified as someone belonging to a certain Bible-believing, urban, Christian subculture. My subculture has its good and its bad and it’s funny. Here is a funny take on some of our quirkisms. Apologies if this hurts anyone- no offense, ok? 🙂

1) The word “ministry” has got to do more with pastors and missionaries than with the words ‘Defence’ or ‘Magic’.

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2) When you hear the name Louis Pasteur, you think he is a pastor in your city, not a dead scientist.

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3) No longer are angels, those chubby winged infants propped up in cathedrals- they are fiery creatures you would rather not meet in a hurry.

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4) You are deemed intelligent if you know your state’s current Chief Minister’s name.

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5) You know the name of the latest esoteric Christian band in town. But you are blissfully oblivious about the Sonu Nigam concert that was the rage yesterday.

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6) Food is integral to our times of meeting together. Often, the quality of food is judged by the presence or absence of Non-vegetarian food.

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7) Tamil fellowship in Pune. Malayalam fellowship in Haryana. Your gathering could very well be the reason the word ‘subculture’ exists in the English dictionary.

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8) “Praise The Lord” is a filler-phrase. “Worship” is what happens when a church service starts.

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9) Similarly, “service” is what starts at 10am on a sunday morning- it’s neither what you do for others nor what Roger Federer starts his game with.

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10) You love cheesy Christian movies. But you can’t remember a single actor’s name other than Kirk Cameron’s.

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11) Before your salvation- weekends were chill. Now, weekdays are more relaxing than weekends!

meme-sunday worship

12) You have little knowledge of who Mahavir or Guru Nanak is, but his birthday needs to be a holiday!

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13) You thought idols belonged only in temples. Now you know your own hearts could be infested with them.

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Share with us anything you find funny about your own subculture!

2 Replies to “13 Signs You Are Neck-deep In The Indian Christian Sub-culture”

  1. Some more to be added… ( From My Exp.. ) People tend to ask more about denominations rather than which church you go to , When you ask about Doctrine, they will escape the question saying it so spiritually.. BIBLE is our doctrine…They will bring up weird teachings ( especially rural churches ) like GODS WILL IS EXACTLY WHAT YOU DISLIKE.. which can never applied in your marriage… Because God wants you to take care of your wife just like Christ loved the church…LOL !!!!!. When they pick up the phone, instead of saying Hello… they will say, Praise the Lord.

    1. Hahah! Benoy bhai, how did i miss the “Hello = Praise The Lord” line?!
      Also,I didnt know about that “Gods Will is What You Dislike” line being prevalent in rural churches. Curious and interesting!!
      I had a good laugh reading these.. true, these are part of our subculture, thank you so much for writing in!

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