Recently my wife and I discussed a relationship I had entered into as a new believer. I had “fallen in love” with a girl at church I really wanted to be with. I initiated the relationship against the Biblical command to consider only partners who share faith in Jesus. She was not a Christian at heart, and I knew it. A couple of months of superficial joy, merciful interventions & inner turmoil later I broke up with that girl, leaving her clueless & lonely with little excuse or attempts at reconciliation.
Why did I commit these gross sins?
How could I toy with the heart of a young girl made in God’s image?
My wife’s questions on how unfair this was, made me also realize that-
I didn’t want to be satisfied in Christ. I treated the gospel as something only for a non-Christian. I didn’t see that Christ satisfies both the married and the single Christian soul. Even if I saw it, I –
Looked in the wrong places. I followed the System around me, or what the Bible calls “the world”. I coveted a relationship after I noticed other Christian friends in relationships. I figured I wanted what they had. Nothing bad about having a girl-friend when you are committing to marriage, but I took it to –
Idolatry. I tried to live to make ME HAPPY, Not Jesus.
First, I wanted this beautiful girl, hoping she would become a believer. Later when a mentor confronted me about her being no Christian, I escaped pain by not even meeting her to explain why I was breaking up. I protected myself from consequence & shame at the cost of someone else.
I don’t deserve forgiveness from this person or from God.
But God – He is merciful to offenders like me. Jesus’ death for people like me, baffles my mind and melts my prayers into tears. Even now – to find her & beg for forgiveness, would take that unfair break-up towards redemption.
Have you sinned in a relationship or marriage that God redeemed?
“When God says to keep waiting, He isn’t trying to rob you of an experience but rather lead you into a greater one.” – Matt Chandler